98,371 notes

thugalien:

a voicemail my mom just left me

7,740 notes
me n my ogre bf

bellpincher:

me: babe come over

bf: i can’t theres fucking ropes all over the place

me: my parents are out

bf: image

51,333 notes

thelilnan:

hohoholdthefuckupson:

silenthill:

*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*

see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it

See, I never jacked it, only put in in the middle of my hand. It can turn me gay but I’m not giving it the power to. A metaphor.

image

90,315 notes